Choosing a Doctor: Part 3

When dealing with a serious illness, you may make some assumptions about your doctor that will do little to help you. For example, if your doctor acts decisively and appears to be in control, you may assume that he knows what he is doing. The opposite is often true: When people are unsure of what they are doing, they often take over in a manner designed to hide their uncertainty.

Your doctor should never assume that if you ask no questions, you have no questions to ask. You may not have had the opportunity to ask, you may be afraid to ask in case you offend or upset him, and you may feel you don't know enough yet to ask the appropriate questions. If you've only just heard your diagnosis, you may be left momentarily speechless, unable to process the news while in the presence of your doctor.

Some doctors assume that if you're quiet, then you're serene, complacent or, even worse, stupid. What many doctors fail to appreciate is that you may be scared to death or simply not sure how to frame the questions you need answers for. Some doctors assume you have a basic working knowledge of anatomy, so it's O.K. to use medical jargon; others will assume that you know nothing so there's no point in even trying to explain it to you.

Your assumption may be that it is in your doctor's power to fix all your problems just as easily as a mechanic replaces a spark plug in your car. You may also assume that because your doctor doesn't spend much time with you, or keeps you waiting, he doesn't care about you, when it may be simply a matter of long waiting lists caused by funding shortfalls. (There is no doubt that economic policies in many countries have made it almost impossible for many doctors to practice good medicine - i.e., spend time with their patients; equally, unless doctors stand up for change, the situation will get worse.)

The science of medicine is one you are unlikely to know much about but is the one in which your doctor has been well schooled. Not surprisingly, your doctor assumes that since only he knows how to decipher the tests you have undergone, only he knows what is best for you. The moment he makes this assumption-and you allow him to act upon it without question-control is taken away from you. The result is that you become dependent on him to make decisions on your behalf.

It is your doctor's responsibility to diagnose and manage your symptoms. It is your doctor who sends you to hospital and then sends you home. It is your doctor who orders up tests, prescribes medication and recommends surgery, or other medical treatment. Gradually, many doctors-even female doctors-can assume a paternalistic role. As you follow their blur of signals, you become spellbound and so lose even more control.

For most, this is a terrifying ordeal. People who were in complete control of their lives suddenly find themselves dependent and fearful the moment they enter their doctor's consulting room. This is particularly true of the aged who are more marginalized than others by the paternalistic and patronizing approach taken to them by their doctors.

There are many people who hand control of their destiny to a doctor or alternative practitioner when they have been diagnosed with, for example, cancer, and are then angry and resentful when they are told what to do. They are often people accustomed to dealing with problems and making their own decisions, and they feel alienated when they are no longer asked for their opinion. If you find yourself being prodded and pricked by a retinue of experts with total power over your body, it is not unusual to feel indignant and helpless.

If you have any health or illness related questions you would like me to answer, please don't hesitate to email me at joel@healthnews.com My answers to your questions will be posted on our blog and it is my sincere hope these will be helpful to you.

In light and peace
Joel