Look for the Doctor with an Open Mind

When you are desperately ill and find yourself without hope, you are likely to seek out a sympathetic ear and a treatment you hope will cure you-even if you know, deep down, that the treatment is useless. From your point of view, "Nothing ventured, nothing gained" can make the difference between living and dying.

The only way your doctor can prevent you from chasing rainbows is to allow you to explore other options-with their full cooperation and support, to act as an honest broker and steer you in the direction of the best possible help. Some doctors do keep an open mind to new possibilities and accept that patients can be legitimate sources of learning.

If your doctor understands your need to maintain your dignity and control over your life, they will accept that there are always options, including the option of doing nothing. The doctor I went to for a second opinion on my leukemia accepted that my determination to retain control over my life was as good an approach as any other. "With your attitude," he said, "I have no doubt we'll toast your survival in a year's time." His reassurance gave wings to my subdued optimism. So far, we've drunk twenty-five toasts-and I hope will share many more.

The doctor with an open mind will also recognize that most people cannot face the thought of prolonged and severe pain. It is you, not your doctor, who has to choose whether you wish to endure pain-and for how long. I believe that your doctor is obliged to offer you relief, however temporary, if it is available. Your ignorance should never be their excuse for not making the offer.

Try to read up as much as you can about your condition, the treatments available, and what other people have done when faced with a similar problem. If you don't understand some of the medical jargon, make a copy of the relevant article or paragraph and ask your doctor to explain it. If you've chosen the right doctor, they will never feel that you're challenging their knowledge or their trust. They will be impressed by your efforts, and will appreciate that you want to be actively involved in your recovery program. If your doctor refuses to explain an article you have found, for example, on a novel treatment for your disease, or if they fob you off with a comment like "Oh, that's old hat!" or "Why are you bothering with this?" find someone who will not only explain it to you, but will also tell you how it has been superseded (if it has), and by what. You have every right to be informed.

The doctor with an open mind will understand that cancer, heart disease, and other life-threatening illnesses not only receive detailed media coverage but also are often the subject of talk shows on radio and television. They will be aware that people are far more aware of the symptoms and variety of treatments available for most diseases. If they are attuned to this, they will keep themselves informed of the latest advances and controversial issues, not only in their particular field, but also in related disciplines.

The ultimate test of your doctor's openness is their preparedness to say, "I don't know." With all the promise of technology at their fingertips, we expect doctors to have all the answers; they, in turn, often believe they do. As you may already have discovered, there are exceptions. If your doctor admits he or she doesn't have a ready solution to your problem - and you see this as courage and not a weakness on their part-you have the opportunity for a candid relationship from which you both have much to gain and little to lose.

If your doctor is not up-to-date and open-minded, look for someone who is.

If you have any health or illness related questions you would like me to answer, please don't hesitate to leave a comment below. My answers to your questions will be posted on our blog and it is my sincere hope these will be helpful to you.

In light and peace,
Joel