Address the Distress

As I have discussed earlier, stress can often lead to distress, that is, the way you are responding to some cause, some situation over which you feel you have no control. So, instead of asking, "How can I cope with my distress?" you need to ask, "What specific problem or conflict is making me feel like this?" This is as true for cancer and its treatments as for any other serious illness, all of which can cause depression that is often hard to distinguish from distress. Anti-depressants and stress management techniques only deal with symptom control, so pinning down the cause of your distress is essential and may require professional help from a psychiatrist or a counselor. You need to be realistic about your condition, and give yourself time to deal with all your unresolved issues.

I do believe you can combat your negative thoughts, feelings and physical responses by replacing them with positive ones. It takes practice, but you can do it. Beware you don’t become a prisoner of positive thinking, believing that all you have to do is repeat positive affirmations continuously and your cancer will go away. Positive thinking without positive action is futile. Try these statements:

• If you say, "I feel trapped," turn it around and say, "I feel trapped at this moment, but there are still things I can do that can make me feel free."
• If you keep saying, "I’m so tired," say instead "I feel tired now—but I know I will feel better when I’ve taken a nap."
• If you find pain makes you fearful, say to yourself, "Yes, I am afraid of pain—but if I talk to my doctor I’m sure he’ll give me something to get rid of it."
• If you say, "I look terrible," turn it around to "Yes, I look terrible right now because I’ve had chemo—but my hair will grow back, I will look better."
• If you say to yourself, "I’m going to die," rather say, "I know I’m going to die, eventually, but in the meantime let’s see what I can still do."

Remember, your immune system can’t think, but it has a good memory. At all times try to use the word when instead of the word if.  Talk to yourself. Say, again and again, "I’m going to live," instead of "I’m going to die." Say, again and again, "I deserve to live," instead of "I wish I were dead." As Ella Fitzgerald sang, ‘"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative."

Whatever you do, don’t blame yourself. Even if you were a heavy smoker and developed lung cancer, blaming yourself isn’t going to help. You may feel as if you can’t deal with your responses right now, but if you accept that, for the short term, you have lost control of the situation, say to yourself, ‘Right now I have lost control, but I will regain it when I feel a little stronger.’

Our bodies and our thoughts talk to us. Most of the time, we tend to ignore them. I urge you to listen well, and to honor them. Your symptoms are as real as your fears. Accept them as normal responses to an abnormal situation and deal with them if you can. For example, if you feel tired, go to sleep, don’t fight it off. If you feel afraid, ask yourself why. Listen to your bodymind; it’s talking to you as clearly as your thoughts.

As I explained earlier, cells communicate with each other through neurotransmitters found in the brain and throughout the body. The language they speak ensures their and your survival by telling other cells what to do: make more of this protein and less of that, send more energy to the digestive system, and so on. You’re the collection of all your cells, so there’s no reason they can’t talk to you. All you have to do is listen.

If you have any health or illness related questions you would like me to answer, please don’t hesitate to leave a comment below. My answers to your questions will be posted on our blog and it is my sincere hope these will be helpful to you.

In light and peace
Joel