Decisions, Decisions

You would think that since I am totally blind I wouldn’t have to worry about eye problems, wouldn’t you? Unfortunately, that isn’t so. I still have to visit my eye doctor annually so he can check for tumors and other problems, and he has to monitor my glaucoma. Glaucoma is a disease of the eye where the pressure of the fluid inside the eyeball is abnormally high. For those with sight, the increased pressure can damage the optic nerve and lead to loss of vision. But for me, the problem is that when my pressure goes up, it causes severe pain in and behind my eyes, as well as excruciating headaches that are worse than migraines.

That is where I am right now. My eye pressure soared out of control over a short period of time, and I found myself at the doctor’s office. My eye doctor is a very nice man; he explains things really well and doesn’t pull any punches. After giving me a thorough examination, he told me he felt my problem was not only glaucoma, but a combination of the glaucoma and a condition the eye goes through when it doesn’t work for a long time (it has a strange name that I can’t remember). He gave me prescriptions for three different eye drops; one is once each day, one is twice each day and one is four times a day.

Then we really talked. He asked me how bad the pain was on a scale of 1-10 and we talked about my options if the eye drops didn’t relieve the pain. One option would be to live with the pain. But could I? The other option would be to have my eyes removed and replaced with glass eyes. This would eliminate the pain altogether as well as any problems in the future. But could I?

I have to say, this is one of the hardest subjects I have ever had to think about. And I thought Environmental Science was tough! How do you decide how much pain is enough? What if I had my eyes removed and then they came up with a cure that could have given me sight? (My doctor thinks that is a real possibility in my lifetime). How do you decide a thing like this? And would I feel the same if it were my arm or leg that was causing me pain? Would I have it amputated?

I am hoping the drops will do the trick, but even if they do, I’m sure there may come a time when I will have to revisit this issue. And if that time comes, I’m sure it will be the hardest decision I will ever have to make!