Finding Time for Independence Training

As I begin my independence training, the things I am focusing most on is ADL or adult daily living skills such as cooking, laundry, and house-cleaning. I was given a great deal of advice concerning this particular issue by my local National Federation for the Blind (NFB) chapter. The most prevalent piece of advice was to designate a particular time each day devoted solely to a lesson having to do with ADL skills. Theoretically, it’s a wonderful idea, but practically it is completely impossible.

This is mainly due to the TIME factor. For example, Mom has been cleaning house for so long that it is just second nature to her. She has perfected her technique to the point that she finishes her tasks quickly, making good use of the time she has allotted. However, guiding someone slowly through each step of the process takes a long time. An in-depth ADL lesson could take up the biggest part of the day; time many of us can ill-afford in today’s busy world. I’m sure all the busy parents reading this right now can empathize with my mom.

I was rather stumped for ideas. “How am I ever going to learn all the things I need to know in order to be independent?” I asked Mom.
 
She thought for awhile and then said that she felt maybe we were going about it all wrong. She said that, despite the advice I had been given, learning is a lengthy process. Just as I didn’t jump up and start walking, but had to learn in steps, first crawling and then pulling up and falling down and learning how to get up again, that is how I would have to learn other things too.

In an activity such as cooking dinner, for example, I am so impatient I want to learn everything in one lesson. But, as Mom pointed out, there is no way to adequately cover the entire process in one lesson. We realized that each time we cooked dinner we should only cover one step. By rotating which steps we covered, I would eventually learn them all, as well as get practice in those we had already covered.

So, last night when we were making chicken fajitas, instead of trying to help with everything, I learned how to pound the chicken breasts to the correct thickness, and I let mom do the rest, but I stayed in the kitchen and asked questions. Next time, I may help her cut the vegetables, or whatever task I have the stamina for. After a while, we will be able to work as a team, so we can get done even faster.
 
This technique goes against traditional teaching, and doesn’t at all please my fellow chapter members. They feel I should be getting comprehensive ADL practice by performing all aspects of the job each time, and understanding how time-consuming they can be. Mom says it is apparent that it will take me longer to complete tasks and that I will have to set aside more time than if I didn’t have physical limitations. But it is so frustrating for me because I too want to be able to do everything at once.

I am beginning to realize that building endurance is a slow process and that pushing yourself past your present limits will simply cause more delays. I suppose that the best lessons are learned over time, and mostly, through trial and error. But I can hardly wait until I can cook a meal from start to finish and serve it up to my mom, who has served me for so many years. That will be a day to celebrate!

Until next time, take care of yourself, stay safe, and find things in your life to be grateful for. So many times, we focus on the things that are going wrong in our lives instead of the blessings we have been given!