The Myth of a Perfect Holiday Season

My mother tells a story about how she once spent the night before Christmas assembling 100 tiny plastic escalator steps in Barbie's shopping mall. Her parents were both in the hospital and she didn't actually start shopping for presents until Christmas Eve. She says there was nothing left in the stores—she had to buy the last of the picked-over toys. She was exhausted, defeated, and very unhappy about the pathetic display of junk that greeted her children that Christmas morning.

Here is what I remember: "Barbie's shopping mall? YES!"

A perfect example of how much parents can beat themselves up over things that children don't even register. We see cheap plastic—but they see fun. We see amateur attempts at festive décor—but they see holiday splendor. We see failure—but they see magic.

We are obviously missing something...

And isn't this the season for it? Whatever the gift giving holiday, we are decorating and shopping and planning. And all the while, feeling like we could be doing it all SO much better.

Of course, we have these feelings of insecurity and inadequacy year-round. But there is something about the month of December that dials it up a notch…or twenty.

So the very first thing that you MUST do, is purchase some lifestyle and entertaining magazines. Already feeling like crap about your annual inability to adorn your front door with garlands? Martha Stewart is sure to make your holiday decor attempts look like those preschool crafts that you surreptitiously toss in the garbage when the kids aren't looking.

I don't know about you, but this overwhelming pressure to make things perfect gets the best of me far more often than it should. Starting with Thanksgiving, I find myself lamenting our lack of nice serving spoons. Then on a less superficial note, I also wonder when my children will be able to sit at the table for more than fifteen minutes and actually eat the holiday meal instead of requiring their own grilled cheese sandwiches. Our holiday dinners have never quite lived up to the ideal Norman Rockwell images of tradition.

January through mid-November, I could care less about how things should be. So what is it about this time of year that makes me such a flailing perfectionist who tries to force everyone around her into Hallmark holiday moments?

We celebrate Christmas, so right after Thanksgiving we run directly into two often-contentious holiday traditions: tree decorating and a visit to Santa. 

I have to confess right now that I'm a complete maniac about my tree. To say that I'm somewhat particular about how it looks would be like saying that Christmas at the North Pole is a bit chilly. I just really love a beautifully decorated tree and my desire for perfection borders on pathological.

Decorating a Christmas tree is supposed to be a fun family tradition. Why should it matter that 70% of the ornaments are hung on the bottom left corner? Who cares if someone wants to add their Star Wars action figures to the mix? And what could be more festive than three pounds on tinsel dumped on top of it all? Right?

No. I'm sorry. I just can't do it. It's a problem, and someday I'll get help. But in the meantime, we'll compromise with a "kids' tree" in the play room. There are others like me out there, so they understand. I just hope that the rest don't judge me too harshly.

Thankfully, I'm much better about the Santa visits. But learned to let that one go early on.