Combating Grief After the Loss of a Spouse

As we age and approach retirement, we all hope for a smooth transition from the hectic days of our middle years, to a less hectic, but nonetheless secure retirement; a happy, fulfilling time, relatively free from disease or memory loss for at least long enough to enable us to kickback, relax, and pursue activities that will bring contentment and happiness to our lives.

How can we best prepare for this transition since there are so many hurdles along the way? Undoubtedly the largest hurdle many must face is the loss of their spouse. Feelings of despair and anxiety naturally flood through us after the death of a spouse. Our support system seems to crumble without the one with whom we shared our daily activities; the grocery shopping we did together, the meals we shared, the TV programs we watched side-by-side; the one who was our travel companion, the one we laughed, and worried with.

From this kind of a loss comes a sense of isolation and fear; our grief is followed by depression, anxiety, a loss of appetite, fatigue; disturbances of sleep and concentration; literally, such a loss places us at risk for increased susceptibility to physical disease.

It is no wonder that a Finnish study that appeared in the May 2008, online edition of the American Journal of Public Health, noted that the risk of entering a long-term care facility is almost three times as likely for both men and women after the death of a spouse than it is for a person still living with their spouse. But time does help, they said, with the rate declining and stabilizing at around 20 to 50 percent higher, after five years for these people, as opposed to those who have not gone through the pain of losing a spouse. This wasn't a small study, it involved almost 141,000 people aged 65 and older.

The risk of needing long-term care assistance after the death of a spouse was highest during the first month of bereavement. Having Home Health services available immediately after the death of a spouse can be an important step to help ease the strain of the social isolation that is so naturally felt, and so detrimental to our mental health after such a loss. More programs are needed to reach out to our growing population of older Americans to help them get back into the swing of life after the loss of a spouse.

A Harvard study that appeared in the same online journal gave some pointers on how we can best maintain an agile mind, positive feelings of self-worth and be assured of sufficient emotional support to meet the challenges age throws our way.

The study suggests that increasing social integration may play an important role in our efforts to protect ourselves from memory decline. The study of 16,638 Americans, 50 and older, took over six years, and concluded that memory loss in people with the strongest social networks declined at a rate that was less than half of the decline of those who had the fewest social connections. Memory loss among those with few social connections was found to be twice that of those who socialized frequently.

Clearly social interaction can play a part in achieving a happy, productive life during retirement. The most socially active of the group was also found to be in better physical health than the non-social group. The authors felt this was probably because they also practiced other healthful type behaviors.

Senior author, Lisa Berkman points out that the health and well being of people during their lifetimes is profoundly affected by their social participation and integration. "We know from previous studies that people with many social ties have lower mortality rates. We now have mounting evidence that strong social networks can help to prevent declines in memory."

Another memory maintenance tip: Among a study of 13,499 people, there was evidence that the use of painkillers such as aspirin, ibuprofen, or naproxen lowered a person's risk of developing Alzheimer's disease, that disease which so blatantly robs people of their memories. This study documented that people who used the non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs had a 23 percent lower risk of developing Alzheimer's disease than those that did not use the drugs.

Hopefully more research will be done on how to keep our minds fresh and our health robust for that full and happy retirement we look forward to in retirement.